Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Jack Vettriano Right Time, Right Place

Jack Vettriano Right Time, Right PlaceJack Vettriano Queen of the WaltzerJack Vettriano Private Dancer
Well, he'd heard the Tooth Fairy girls were in the city these days. It'd be one of the night people. They probably had a day off, just like everyone else.
A movement on the 'Take it off, Dean,' said Ridcully. 'You'll feel a lot better.'
'Smells more like Mrs Palm's House of Negotiable Affection to me,' said the Senior Wrangler.
They looked at him in surprise.
'I just happened to walk past once,' he said quickly.
'Runes, please take the Dean's hat off for him, will you?' said Ridcully.
‘I assure you–’
The hat came off. Something long and greasy and very nearly the same pointy shape flopped table made him look down. The Death of Rats scrittered past, carrying a bowl of peanuts.He turned back to the wizards. The Dean was still wearing his pointy hat. There was also something slightly shiny about his face.'You look hot, Dean,' said Ridcully.'Oh, I'm lovely and cool, Archchancellor, I assure you,' said the Dean. Something runny oozed past his nose.The Lecturer in Recent Runes sniffed suspiciously.'Is someone cooking bacon?' he said.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Piet Mondrian Gray Tree

Piet Mondrian Gray TreePiet Mondrian Composition with Yellow Blue and RedPiet Mondrian Composition with Red YellowPiet Mondrian Composition with Red Yellow and Blue
face of the little man on the other side of the door went blank.
'Ah,' he said, 'you've got me there. Hang on a moment.' The hatch shut. There was a whispered discussion on the other side of the door. The hatch opened.
'Yes, it 'Right,' said the corporal, with relief. 'What's your name, soldier?'
ER . . .
'You don't have to say, actually. That's what the . . . the...'
KLATCHIAN FOREIGN LEGION?appears we are the . . . the . . . what was that again? Right, got it . . . the Klatchian Foreign Legion. Yes. What was it you were wanting?'I WISH TO JOIN.'Join? Join what?'THE KLATCHIAN FOREIGN LEGION.'Where's that?'There was some more whispering.'Oh. Right. Sorry. Yes. That's us.'The doors swung open. The visitor strode in. A legionary with corporal's stripes on his arm walked up to him.'You'll have to report to . . .' his eyes glazed a little, . . . you know . . . big man, three stripes . . . on the tip of my tongue a moment ago . . .'SERGEANT?

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Diane Romanello Autumn Road

Diane Romanello Autumn RoadGustav Klimt Apple Tree IISalvador Dali The Transparent Simulacrum of the Feigned ImageSalvador Dali The Disintegration of the Persistence of Memory
'Granted. Tell him not to do it again.'
'Yes, sir. Well, I think that's about it. Except for a new kettle.'
The Patrician's hand moved in front of his lips. He was trying not to smile. ,
'Dear me. need an alchemist and possibly a ghoul provided they promise not to take anything home and eat it; a special unit using dogs, which could be very useful, and Lance-Constable Angua can deal with that since she can, um, be her own handler a lot of the time; a request here from Corporal Nobbs that Watchmen be allowed all the weapons they can carry, although I'd be obliged if you said no to that; a—'
Lord Vetinari waved a hand.Another kettle as well? What happened to the old one?''Oh, we still use it, sir, we still use it. But we're going to need another because of the new arrangements.''I'm sorry? What new arrangements?'Carrot unfolded a second, and rather larger, piece of paper.'The Watch to be brought up to an establishment strength of fifty-six; the old Watch Houses at the River Gate, the Deosil Gate and the Hubwards Gate to be reopened and manned on a twenty-four hour basis—'The Patrician's smile remained, but his face seemed to pull away from it, leaving it stranded and all alone in the world.'—a department for, well, we haven't got a name for it yet, but for looking at clues and things like dead bodies, e.g., how long they've been dead, and to start with we'll

Monday, May 4, 2009


Cao Yong AGE OF INNOCENCECao Yong AFTERNOON TEACao Yong cao yong Red Umbrella
you think of anything better?'
'Not right now.'
'Well, then. I'll . . . er . . . look . . . you go back to the rest of the men and . . . I'll find somewhere to change into something more suitable.'
She didn't only just, a very large bone in his mouth. It was wider than he was long, and might have belonged to something that died in a tar pit. It was green and furry in places.
'How nice,' she said, coldly. 'Look, you go on. Let me see what I can do . . .'
'If you're sure . . .' Carrot began, in a reluctant tone of voice.
When he'd gone Angua headed for the nearest alley. There were only a few minutes to moonrise.
have to look around to recognize where the snigger came from. Gaspode had a way of turning up silently like a small puff of methane in a crowded room, and with the latter's distressing ability to fill up all available space.'Where can you get a change of clothes around here?' said Carrot.A good Watchman is always ready to improvise,' said Angua.'That little dog is awfully wheezy,' said Carrot. 'Why does he always follow us around?''I really couldn't say.''He's got a present for you.'Angua risked a glance. Gaspode was holding, but

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Edgar Degas Rehearsal on the Stage

Edgar Degas Rehearsal on the StageEdgar Degas Woman Combing Her HairFrederic Edwin Church The Andes of EcuadorFrederic Edwin Church Rainy Season in the Tropics
some reason the face of the Patrician loomed up at this point.
Once 'Where'd he go? Where'd he go?'
There was a maze of alleys around the doors. Cuddy leaned against a wall and fought for breath.
'There he go!' anyone else with any other kind of weapon . . .
So. A new type of weapon. Much, much faster than a bow. The Assassins wouldn't like that. They wouldn't like that at all. They weren't even keen on bows. The Assassins preferred to kill up close.
So they'd put the . . . the gonne safely under lock and key. The gods alone knew how they'd come by it in the first place. And a few senior Assassins would know about it. They'd pass on the secret: beware of things like this . . .

'Down there! He went into Grope Alley!'
'Slow down! Slow down!'
'Why?' said Detritus.shouted Detritus. 'Along Whalebone Lane!'He lumbered off in pursuit. Vimes put down his coffee cup.Whoever had shot those lead balls at him had been very accurate across several hundred yards, and had got off six shots faster than anyone could fire an arrow . . .Vimes picked up the pipes. Six little pipes, six shots. And you could carry a pocketful of these things. You could shoot further, faster, more accurately than

Henri Rousseau The Flamingos

Henri Rousseau The FlamingosHenri Rousseau The Equatorial JungleHenri Rousseau The Boat in the StormHenri Rousseau Surprise
trying to find out,' said Vimes. 'We . . . we think maybe he was tied up next to a wall and exploded.'
Carrot leaned over the wall of a pen.
'Coochee-coochee-coo?' he said. A friendly flame took his eyebrows off.
'I mean, he was as tame as anything,' said Lady Ramkin. 'Wouldn't hurt a fly, poor little thing.'
'How could someone make a dragon blow up?' said Vimes. 'Could you do it by giving it a kick?'
'Oh, yes,' said awake and rearing up. Its ears flattened. Its nostrils flared. Its wings unfurled. It breathed in. From its stomach came the gurgle of rushing acids as sluices and valves were opened. Its feet left the floor. Its chest expanded—
Vimes hit Carrot at waist height, bearing him to the ground.
In its pen the dragon blinked. The enemy had mysteriously gone. Scared off!
It subsided, blowing off a huge flame.Sybil. 'You'd lose your leg, mind you.''Then it wasn't that. Any other way? So you wouldn't get hurt?''Not really. It'd be easier to make it blow itself up. Really, Sam, I don't like talking about—''I have to know.''Well . . . at this time of year the males fight. Make themselves look big, you know? That's why I always keep them apart.'Vimes shook his head. 'There was only one dragon,' he said.Behind them, Carrot leaned over the next pen, where a pear-shaped male dragon opened one eye and glared at him.'Whosagoodboyden?' murmured Carrot. 'I'm sure I've got a bit of coal somewhere—'The dragon opened the other eye, blinked, and then was fully

Sunday, April 26, 2009

John Constable The White Horse

John Constable The White HorseJohn Constable The Hay WainJohn Constable Salisbury CathedralJohn Constable Salisbury Cathedral from the Meadows
nurse told me,' said Viscount Skater, 'that a true king could pull a sword from a stone.'
'Hah, yes, and cure dandruff,' said Lord Rust. 'That's just a legend. That's not real Anyway, I've always been a bit puzzled about that story. What's so hard about pulling a sword out of a stone? The real work's already been done. You ought to make yourself useful and find the man who put the sword in the stone in the first place, eh?'
There was a sort of relieved laughter. That's what Edward remembered. It all ended up in laughter. Not exactly at him, but he was the type of person who always takes laughter personally.
Ten minutes 'They didn't want to listen.'
'No, sir.'
'They didn't want to l-isten.'
Edward sat by the dying fire, with a dog-eared copy of Thighbiter's The Ankh-Morpork Succesfion open on his lap. Dead kings and queens looked at him reproachfully.
And there it might have ended. In fact it did end there, in millions of universeslater, Edward d'Eath was alone.They're being so nice about it. Moving with the times! He'd expected more than that of them. A lot more. He'd dared to hope that they might be inspired by his lead. He'd pictured himself at the head of an army —Blenkin came in at a respectful shuffle.'I saw 'em all off, Mr Edward,' he said.'Thank you, Blenkin. You may clear the table.''Yes, Mr Edward.''Whatever happened to honour, Blenkin?''Dunno, sir. I never took it.'